September Newsletter
A Call to Executive Producers and Investors
From Clay Allen, Creative Director of Crème de le Crambone Productions, Chicago, USA

Spectacular karaoke seems to be a thing of the past. Saunter in to any karaoke showcase facility and witness the same old thing again and again: A bland din of throaty bellowing issued from a stage haunted by pathetic buffoons clutching desperately to their sweat-stained clothing. The well of karaoke freedom has run dry. We go through the motions, not quite knowing what’s wrong, wondering what happened to the top-caliber performances that had girls crying, men cheering and souls electrified.

I know what happened. The answer is staring at you right in the face. Performers everywhere have been lobotomized by cut-rate Lyrics Against a Blue Screen (LAABS) karaoke videos.

I understand why companies were duped into believing LAABS were innovative. It takes up less space on the disc. It’s clean. It’s economic. It also happens to be what the Nazi’s would have sung karaoke to if they had karaoke.

Last I checked, we were in America stardate 2003. Incredible technologies are given away free at the grocery store. Amusing videoscapes decorate our streets and elevators. Awards shows garner production costs of over a million dollars. Why, then, have we decided to let the producers of karaoke laserdiscs ration our happiness where we demand it most?

Now more than ever, we need live-action and/or animated karaoke videos. We need permission to break free, to let go and soar on fantastical wings of song and glory. Video interpretations of songs we love to sing grant us that permission and with strong, loving hands, lift us to new heights.

It’s time to move forward, and clearly, Crème de le Crambone Productions is the company to take us there.

Enjoy these speculative scripts from some karaoke favorites. Many of you may not be aware of the format for writing karaoke videos, and this is nothing to be ashamed of. The lexicon of the karaoke video is immense and thorough, the formatting is downright mind-boggling. Do your best and try to follow along. Playing the song during the reading of the scripts will be of great help to all, especially beginners.

Enjoy.

"She’s Not There" by The Zombies Key of A

Intro 4 Measures

- A Grocery Store

- A woman

- She’s choosing products. We can’t see her face!

- Parking Lot

- Keys in the door,

- rings on her fingers!

- A Bathroom

- She’s dying her hair

- She’s looking at herself in the mirror

- approvingly.

- She’s applying makeup.

- Extreme Close Up

- Fingers on a bass guitar!

- Fingers on keyboards!

- Close Up

- A fight

- Hands clutching

- hair.

- Extreme Close Up

- Eyes.

- A Driveway at Night

- The woman

- in her car

- pulling away…

- At the Mailbox.

- Empty!

"Who Can it Be Now" Men at Work Key of D

Intro 8 Measures

- Close up

- Door,

- hands knocking.

- Man

- in basement

- closing windows.

- Door

- with long, deep shadow cast over it!

- House

- circling around the outside

- alone

- at night

- looking in through the windows!

- Cats

- run across the floor!

- Man

- in bed

- under covers.

- Childhood friend (suggested)

- empty rocking horse

- Close up

- Saxophone.

- Doors

- locking

- Figure

- dancing

- in mirror.

- Phone

- off the hook.

- Answering Machine

- light

- blinking!

- Driveway

- A car pulls in

- stops

- sees someone in the window

- and pulls out again…

"The Dream Police" by Cheap Trick in the Key of A

- A Man

- in bed.

- The Dream Police

- chase man

- across white landscape

- in pajamas.

- Lips

- whispering

- on the phone.

- Entering the Brain of the Man

- through the ears.

- Flashlights

- everywhere.

- Chase

- continues

- through a balloon landscape

- Extreme Close Up

- Eyes

- open.

- It was all a dream!

- Or was it?!

When you return to earth, give Crème de le Crambone Productions a jingle. Let’s shatter some minds.