Dear Darren,
I understand you've got some Irish blood in you. You know that the Irish are either fags or fighters, so which one is it?
—Confused

Dear Confused,
Well I don't know, I've never heard that one before, but if it is coming from such a credible source as yourself it must be true. So I'll tell you what, how 'bout I fuck you in the ass, then I beat the living shit out of you. Afterwards you tell me which one I'm better at and I'll go with it.

Dear Darren,
How fucked up is it when our mayor gives the key to the city to a bunch of cheatin' little leaguers?
—Pissed Off

Dear Pissed Off,
For the love of Pete everyone please stop talking about the freakin Baby Bombers. It's LITTLE LEAGUE who gives a friggin rat’s ass about it. And as far as giving them the key to the city, we'll learn our lesson when we see Danny Almonte running down the street with the citys' V.C.R.

Dear Darren.
Do you think they went overboard with Aaliyah’s funeral?
—Curious

Dear Curious,
Not until I saw the WB frog on the side of the hearse.

Dear Darren,
I heard you guys slagging the Baby Bombers in the bar the other night and I just want to tell you you're wrong. I mean, so what if they are 12 in dog years and they are too old to be in Menudo. I like those kids, they scored me some good cubans. So put that in your burrito and cheat it, I mean eat it!
—Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,
Shut up Darby.