Random Musings

The San Francisco Treat

The following email was sent to the Rice-a-roni company as a joke, with unexpectedly hilarious results. Thanks to David G. for taking time out of his work day to surf the net, all in the name of journalism.

To All You Rice-a-roni Folks,

I notice that the rice-a-roni song appears on the web page in the key of F major. I wonder how this was arrived at. Is that the best key for most people?
Also, is there an arrangement for piano? I’d like to teach it to my children (ages 5,Ted, and 8, Little Jeannie (who looks just like her mother, Big Jeannie!)).
We’re big rice-a-roni fans. We eat it probably four or five times a week. It doesn’t do much for our figures and physiques but you have to say "what the hey" about some things!
Yours in Jesus Christ,
Igor and Jeannie Dalto

Hello Igor:
The sheet music for the jingle is shown in our web site under the History section. We cannot provide a recording or sheet music of the jingle.
Please note that the RICE-A-RONI jingle is copyrighted. Please see the copyright information on the web site. Our copyright policy is available as a link on the bottom of front page of our site, www.ricearoni.com.

Thank you for your interest in our products.
Liz
www.ricearoni.com


The M1, Fully Loaded

The following conversation was overheard on the M1 bus, as it made its lumbering way down Fifth Avenue at 44th Street– where Man 1 and Woman 1 boarded the bus– to Park & 23rd, where the parties involved finally disembarked.
Man 1
What’d you think, I came into the dressing room to stare at that other girl or something?

Woman 1
Well, she was trying on the same thing I was. You know, that dark outfit.

Man 1
Well, I didn’t come in to look at her panties. I don’t know why you’re saying that.

Woman 1
She had on that dark outfit, that one I tried on. I liked that dark outfit.

Man 1
Hey, I‘d like to do that. (He stares out the window at the library on 42nd Street.) See that guy in the black t-shirt sitting on that chair. Just bring your own chair, sit down and watch the world go by. He’s got nothing else to do.

Woman 1
Where?

Man 1
Over there in front of the library. Hey there’s three of them. I can’t believe that. There, those three black chairs. See? They couldn’t all have brought the same chair. It’s too much of a coincidence. They must’ve got them from the library. There, over there, from the cafe, they got them from the cafe. You ever been in there? The library.

Woman 1
No.

Man 1
I never been in there. Next time I wanna go in there. I wanna go in there. Next time...I wanna go in there. Whadda they have in there?...They oughtta knock it down. This piece of property, right here, it’s worth a billion dollars. A library, for what? You know I didn’t go in there to look at her panties. (He reads the stone carving on the face of the building) John...Jacob...Astor...? The library. Hey, where’re we going? Where’s this bus going? It goes back to 6th, this is east. (Turns around to the riders behind him) Where does this bus go?

Man 2
I thought it went to 8th.

Man 1
Yeah, but what avenue?

Man 3
I think it goes to 8th.

Woman 2
It goes down Park Avenue from here.

Man 1
(Turns back to Woman 1, who he’s sitting with, and motions to the bank machine on the corner as the bus passes by.) See that bank machine. The banks make millions of dollars a year to charge you. Every time you use it they charge you, millions of dollars. And they’re all lining up. Wait’ll they see that statement. They’re all getting rich. Hey that bag, look at that bag she’s got. Over there. Barney’s. It’s black. She’s wearing it over her shoulder like that. You could wear it over your shoulder. Well, you know, we can walk. We’ll walk from there. (They stand and move to the front of the bus, disembarking at the next stop.)