The Hangover Loves…War Preparation!

We’ve prepared our disaster kits on the advice of CNN: important documents, battery-operated radios, flashlights, water, candles, tape and common household tools. We’ll be fine in the event of a biological, chemical or nuclear attack. All we have to do is duck and cover; we’ve spent hours perfecting it. We’ll be under the desk or coffee table in no time!

Our wood coffee tables will give us all the protection we need, and we’ll make sure we have our radios with us so that we know when it’s safe to come out again. We feel sorry for poor people who have no coffee tables; they’ll get burned to a crisp. So hurry out, folks! Go to IKEA and buy yourself a table. Because that’s all you’ll need to survive the impending attacks.