No Good Deed…
Subject: response
Date: Tue, 23 Jan 2001 23:12:32 EST
From: RInzana@aol.com
To: mail@nyhangover.com

Dear nameless person at NYHangover,

For some reason you have blacklisted me and refuse to respond to my emails. Perhaps you don't recall, but I made several attempts to send you examples of my illustrations. Apparently you thought the foul scribblings by your subnormal artists were far better than my work. That is your opinion and you are entitled to it. Maybe that's why not a single person in New York has heard of your horrible fucking rag of a paper. I assume you try to produce quality, although there is no evidence of this. The least you could have done is email a response. I have worked for numerous publications that are far more prestigous than yours. I sought work with you shameless bastards because I thought that you would give a little more flexiblity with racy or politically incorrect art. It appears that your magazine is one of the last bastions of the 3rd reich that still exsists in modern society. This is not a complement, but you most likely you will take it as one. So thanks for absolutely nothing except wasting my time on a bunch of troglidytes like yourselves. Fuck you very much.

Sincerely,
Ryan

Subject: Re: Response
Date: Wed, 24 Jan 2001 5:24:25 EST
From: mail@nyhangover.com
To: RInzana@aol.com
Flattery will get you nowhere. We tried a number of times to download your files. The first couple of times attachments weren’t attached, etc. Fine. Computers fuck up, whatever. We asked you to resend. You attached files in an archive with a .zip extension, after we requested you send them "as .jpeg or .tiff attachments." Now frankly, if someone took the time to email me and ask me to RESEND my work for inclusion in their publication, I’d sure as shit make it as easy as possible for them to view it.

In terms of us not emailing you back, Ryan, this may come as a surprise to you, but you are not the center of the fucking universe. Since 12/6, you have emailed us 7 times. We have replied to your fucking emails three times (This one is #4, dear readers.?Ed), the most recent being 12/28. That was less than a month ago. Get a life. Or, alternatively, hie your ass to school, pally, since your emails are riddled with misspellings and grammatical errors.

Here’s a little tip, Ryan--when you solicit publications in hopes of getting your work published, you are not doing them a favor, they are doing YOU a favor. Finally, if you insist on using vulgar language in your emails to us, we will call AOL and have them disconnect your newbie ass. Loser.
?Ed.
 
 

Subject: Re: Response
Date: Thu, 25 Jan 2001 11:54:55 EST
From: RInzana@aol.com
To: mail@nyhangover.com

Dear Ed -
That's the kind of response I was looking for! I'm sorry about all the harsh language, but I felt that it was the only way to get you people to reply. As for the grammatical errors, (troglodyte was misspelled eh? Wasn't too sure about that one) I thought most of my syntax was perfect. At any rate, my intention was not to offend, although now rereading the letter, it seems like that would be the only sort of thing that letter would do. Perhaps my appraisal of your publication was a bit hasty, but I'm not used to being black listed by art directors without them even seeing my work. But heck, we are all friends here (unless you have some ill will towards me for that last email) and although I'm quite sure you never want to see my work and are most likely sending my name on some sort of list to all art directors, telling them to avoid me like the bubonic plague.

But that's all water under the bridge, now that I realize that I'm dealing with an actual person, instead of an email address with no human at the other end. The truth is, I sent my samples numerous times (4, I think) and got no response whatsoever. There is also no phone listing for your company, so I was beginning to doubt that NYhangover actually existed. Don't think I am writing you because I'm afraid you will yank my aol membership, but I respect the response you gave to me. Most would not reply at all, it shows true character to tell off some upstart after receiving a message like that. I honestly also thought that that something bad had happened to NYHangover, the last email I sent (prior to my rant) came back "domain does not exist." So any reply to my message was a welcome one.

I would offer to send you samples again, but I'm quite certain that you would rather see me impaled on a stake in Time Square than see a sample of my work. Which is okay, and most likely, I deserve it. But, in the most off - hand chance you would, I could send it to you in a zip file format. I've sent work out in JPEG format on numerous occasions and never had any trouble, I guess that's why I had a hard time believing that you never got my work.

In closing, I bare no ill will towards you, Ed, or your publication. I do not offer to send my work to magazines that I feel are worthless, so you should assume that my rant was just a bunch of bad feelings I have harbored because of a lack of response. Now that I got one, I am satisfied. I'm ready to bury the hatchet if you are, most likely you are not, and to that I understand. Drop me a line if some peace accord could be met. I will give in a lot easier than the Palestinians, if some sort of peace is still on the agenda. Thanks for the good letter, I look forward to talking to you soon.

Sincerely,
Ryan J. Inzana